OMG!!!! what has happened now..a small liquid bleed during intercourse???? My head is in a spin..
out come my ancient nursing studies text books..Anatomy and Physiology..check
Alternate States of Health ..check..thats it I think, I must have on of those horrible gynae cancers that persecute women in their 40's
I ring my Dr...Thank God you are there I wail..my ever patient dr says what is wrong now? I am dying dying I say to him...I dont want to lose my bits ? what bits he says ..well I reply I can have any number of diseases..endometrial cancer, the unmentionable one please dont let it be the unmentionable one..please God I pray..or worse WORSE it could be the menopause...after listening to this for a while my doctor says "Have you thought you may be pregnant?" Dont be silly I say I cant get pregnant Im too old!!!! I have spent 4 years waiting for the double pink lines,the blue positive cross sign,every month only to feel the heartbreak of disappointment time and time again...
"Well " he says" it wont hurt to check just the once"
TEN pregnancy tests later...I sit and stare in wonder..there are 2 pink lines,2 pink double lines,2 blue lines,2 blue positive lines..many blue + symbols ,test after test after test
I tell my friend ..we hug..Im too scared to tell my husband..what if I miscarry like last time ???
Eventually I tell him
it will be our secret we say
How can one keep secret such a thing..you are so happy your heart threatens to burst ..you are so scared your heart sinks..
As I sit in wonder surrounded by 10 positive blue and pink lines
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